“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Growing up in an Indian family, I heard a lot of talk about fate.
- When we faced the challenges of running a small business in America, it was fate.
- When we encountered difficulties adjusting to life here, it was fate.
- When I got a C on a report card, it was fate.
And a curse. Yes, my mediocre grade cursed my parents for life! (Actually, I don’t think I got a “C.” If I did, I wouldn’t be alive today and writing this article for you.)
But fate is BS…
Fate is BS Anyways.
Anything that was challenging, difficult or painful, my family attributed to fate.
And so of course, I grew up with the same belief patterns when things didn’t go my way. “I can’t do anything about it; it’s my fate and I have to accept it.”
Except when I woke up to realize – what a bunch of BS! Talk about fate is complete and utter nonsense.
I hope once you’ve read this article, you’ll never again sit back and think about fate. Or resign yourself to the idea that fate governs your life.
Fate is a concept in which predestination determines certain things in your life. Your life will be a certain way and events will turn out a certain way because the higher powers have arranged them that way.
As the online Webster’s dictionary defines fate, “things in general are believed to come to be as they or events happen as they do…an inevitable and often adverse outcome.”
Here’s the Fated Problem with Fateful Thinking.
When you’ve got a “fate” mindset, you’re looking at the world through a certain prism. A view that things are going to happen the way they are and that you have little control over the events that unfold in your life.
While we could go back and forth about the merits of fate and whether or not fate exists, let me simply sidestep the conversation and say that it doesn’t matter whether or not fate is real.
We don’t have to agree that there’s such a thing as fate.
Regardless of whether fate exists or not, you need to ignore this disempowering and harmful way of thinking
See, when you give into fate, you give into giving in. You give into giving up.
You give into accepting whatever is because you have no control over the outcome.
And this ultimately leads to a defeatist mentality, reminding you that you have no power over the outcome of anything, which simply isn’t true.
This toxic belief that everything is going to happen regardless of your efforts will set you up for a mediocre life of failure.
If you can’t change anything, why try anything? Why do anything?
If it’s not going to work out anyway, and you believe that, you’ve lost the game.
No more fate talk, capisce?
- Close your ears when your Indian, Asian, Eastern European or Middle Eastern parents or family members talk about a fated circumstance.
- Hum a loud tune to yourself when your priest, astrologer, naturopath or yoga instructor remotely references fate.
Even if fate exists, you don’t need to play the game as though it does. What will happen will happen; you can either choose to believe that you have some control over the outcome or to resign yourself to what will happen.
Fate is the easy way out.
Instead of Resigning to Fate, here are 4 Ways to Rock Your Destiny and Achieve Your Dreams.
1. Believe that you have the power to shape the outcome of your future.
Be mindful of your “fate” thoughts and other “powerless” thoughts and beliefs that pop up.
- Remind yourself that strong influences, parents and elders have conditioned you to think of powerless thinking and “fate”-based thinking.
- Remind yourself that fate-based thinking cripples your goals, undermines your dreams and hinders your success.
2. Visualize the outcome you desire.
It’s not what you believe that shapes your world so much as what you see.
Your mind has the power to create ideas and create your reality.
Instead of thinking about why something’s not working or why you’re struggling, hold the completed picture in your mind.
- See it working in your mind’s eye and consciously work toward what you envision for yourself.
- See yourself in your mind. Believe it in your heart and start creating it in your life.
- Spend time every day consciously seeing the life you desire, and know that it is possible to create it.
Life’s like an empty white canvas, and you’re the artist with the brush in your hand. You have the power to create the masterpiece of your life.
3. Work like hell.
Yes, you can see it, but if you’ve read too many books like The Secret, you might believe that all it takes is visualization.
Unfortunately, your visualization is just the destination. If you’re not going to do the work to get there, it’s simply a fantasy.
Work toward your dreams. There are two ways to go about this.
- You could do it the traditional way of setting goals and going after them. Hold yourself accountable daily to the task at hand, which moves you toward your big-picture dreams.
- Or do what you’re passionate about, which is what I’ve tried to do throughout the last couple of years.
- What are you super-passionate about in life?
- What will make you jump out of bed every single day and do it without any external motivation?
When you’ve found the one thing you’re passionate about, you’ll work like hell and you won’t even feel like it’s work.
Message from Guided Mind: If you haven’t yet discovered your passion, download our meditation mp3 to meet your future self and figure out your destiny now.
4. Think of failure as a stepping stone to success.
Use your setbacks and challenges to fuel your growth.
When things are not going your way, figure out how to improve and what changes you can make.
If you fail and fail hard, try to see the clues that failure is leaving for you. Learn from success, but allow failure to be your professor.
When you see disappointments and setbacks as lessons, you will use them to change your strategy, improve your game and grow as a person.
Never give up in the face of adversity or challenges.Don’t play the ill-fated game of fate giving into excuses, failures and “what will be, will be” thinking.
Instead, shape your destiny by creating the life you want.
Vishnu is a writer and coach who helps people coming out of divorces start over and rebuild their lives. For weekly updates, visit www.vishnusvirtues.com. For his Amazon book, 10 Sacred Ways of Healing a Broken Heart, click here.