You ever noticed that beliefs you've held for a long time all of a sudden change or disappear completely? Or that something happens to make you see something in a totally different way thus changing your belief.
Everyone has examples of when seeing things in a different light changed their view of something.
- Such as believing that all Thai food is hot and spicy then being surprised when it isn’t.
- Or perhaps believing that someone is standoffish and uppity when really they're just shy and introverted.
Then there are those beliefs that are so strong, powerful and deeply ingrained that we hold onto them for dear life, even though they're causing us a lot of grief and suffering.
Below are 5 Beliefs that Cause a Lot of Misery.
The good news is that you can transform these beliefs when you understand where they come from.
1. The world is a scary dangerous place.
You have a feeling that you constantly need to be on the lookout because something or someone is out to get you. The enemy is everywhere and it comes in many forms: superbugs, governments, terrorist, dysfunctional families, schools, or that guy looking at you.
Much of this information comes from a huge variety of sources all around you.
But if you stop for a moment and take a look around you right now, do you see anything to fear?
Your answer might be something, like “no but”.
Right now you are sitting safe and sound in your home reading this blog. Your fears and worries about a dangerous world are not real they are only thoughts you have about a situation that may or may not happen in the future. The future is only a thought and not reality. Reality is now.
2. Everything is conspiring to make your life hell.
- You feel that you have no control over what happens in life.
- You blame circumstance or people for your misery.
- You see yourself as a victim of a dysfunctional family, the weather, the economy, corporations, and even your own lack of opportunities.
- You're living life with an attitude of if only…
It’s not circumstances causing your pain it’s your thoughts
. Whatever you are thinking is going to show up in your life.
If you think and feel like a victim then that is what will show up in your reality. You are not a victim, you are only a creator in hiding. Life is not happening to you; it's happening for you by you.
Every time you begin to blame someone or something for your problems as yourself, “It is realty true? How do I know?” Make sure you have real proof and not just rely on rumours.
3. Your feelings are the result of situations and other people.
This is a belief learned very early in life. As a child you learned that if you cry or throw a tantrum you will get affection, attention or material things.
In this way you form an association between crying and affection thinking that if you don't get affection something is wrong with the person who doesn’t give you the attention.
The reality is no one can make you feel anything that you don’t wish to feel. It is thinking about the feeling that creates it.
That is why you can be very angry at one moment and then something comes along to distract you and you can switch to happiness in an instant. You are really living in the thinking of your feelings.
Message from Guided Mind: Be more courageous in your life - our meditation audio recordings can help you get started.
4. You believe that you must constantly evaluate and judge things.
You are constantly bombarded by a barrage of media, family and friends who tell you this is good or bad, right or wrong, happy or sad, acceptable or unacceptable and so on.
Many of these judgement don’t come from yourself but from the information thrust upon you, yet you believe them to be true.
If you rigidly hold the belief that something is wrong or undesirable without discovering the truth of that belief for yourself, you are shutting the door to a vast array of possibilities.
Experiment for yourself. Ask “why?” - many people can’t answer this question. When you switch from being a critic to creator so much more is available to you.
5. There is something wrong with you.
You believe that in some way you are flawed! Somewhere along life's journey you have been led to believe that you need to be changed, fixed or altered.
As a result you constantly compare yourself to others adding to your misery and pain. You are looking outside yourself for the perfection that lies within.
The truth is you are perfect exactly the way you are! Each of us is unique and that is what is great!
Do you really want to be a clone, looking and acting like everyone else? Or do you want to be you? Make peace with you.
You don't need to change, fix or eradicate anything, you only need to realize the uniqueness of yourself and stop beating yourself up. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and when you see your beauty everyone else will also see that beauty.
Also read: Get rid of limiting beliefs once and for all.
These 5 beliefs cause much suffering and pain but they can be changed by being aware of your thinking. Thoughts create your reality and your feelings.
Take some time to slow down and be aware of what you are thinking. Being aware mean noticing your thoughts NOT push them away.
Perhaps you’re criticizing someone in your thinking or you are comparing yourself to another. Just notice the thinking without trying to change anything. You will be surprised.
As you become more aware of what you’re thinking your thoughts will begin to change by themselves. It’s interesting how that works. Try it and see for yourself.
Carolynne Melnyk is a coach, mentor and facilitator who uses the 3 Principles as a foundation for helping people who feel let down by life to find inner solutions to outer situations. This understanding helps them reclaim their innate joy, peace and contentment.
She invites you to read her latest e-book, Finding Innate Joy or No More Chasing Butterflies which can be found at www.livinglifeinjoy.com