“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” ~ Hermann Hesse
Any human being that has to hold himself together is someone who is ready to fall apart. Or better said; anyone who is afraid of losing control is already out of control.
I first came across the subject of letting go after reading Guy Finley’s Book: The Secret of Letting Go.
Guy asserts that letting go of your false self in exchange for your true nature is what all of us secretly want.
So what is this false self or false nature?
The false self is a creation that one manifested in order to get along with parents, peers, and authority figures.
An example would be a child who is told to stop whining and just deal with it by his parents. The child learns that expressing his wants is a burden to his parents and he opts to suppress his wants and needs in order to please his parents.
In other words he begins to deny his true, authentic self and adopts this pseudo-self in exchange.
The false self is an artificial personality that overlaps a person’s core nature.
You may be wondering how this affects you.
Just briefly take a look at your life.
- Do you live where you want to live?
- Are all your relationships pure and honest or are you faking it?
- Do you act in accordance of what’s expected of you by others?
- Are you in the career of your choice?
- Did you get married and have kids because that’s what you were taught to do?
So much of our lives are filled with undesirable circumstances because we followed someone else’s model and not our own based on our true selves and what feels true to us.
Be your true self.
First thing first. Honor your emotions, all of them.
All too often we are told to suppress or ignore what we call negative emotions. Negative emotions are a sign that we are out of sync with our true selves.
When negative emotions arise, become like a detective and resolve to find out what they are telling you
Also, do your best not to lash out at people, because believe it or not, they are not the cause of your suffering – you are.
Or more to the point, the false self is creating all your problems via your thinking and behavioral patterns.
Most likely you need to change you and not the people in your life.
Just think how hard it is to change yourself, and now realize how much harder it is to change someone else. It’s not going to happen.
The real change you desire is within.
The change is letting go of the false self and becoming who you were created to be which is a unique expression of creation.
Yes, people may initially get upset with you becoming the “real you”, but if they truly desire to have you in their life then they will adjust.
Message from Guided Mind: Forgive both yourself and others.
If anyone important in your life reacts negatively to you becoming authentic it is because of three things:
- They fear you will leave them.
- They fear that they are not enough.
- They fear they need to change too.
Neither one of these beliefs are true, but they may affect those closest to you none the less.
Reconnecting with your true self.
1. Present awareness and stillness are required to connect with your true self.
You can meditate which is nothing more than conscious awareness in the present moment without having your mind drag you into the past or pull you into the future.
2. Breathing exercises also work.
Just easily breathe in and out, in and out while keeping your mind in the present moment.
3. You can also try doing some drawing or sketching on a notepad.
Nothing too complex though.
4. Last but not least, reconnect with you true self by being in nature.
I love going hiking at State Parks because of the peace and serenity of nature. It allows me to forget my concerns and allows me to just be me.
Once you become centered and balanced it becomes easier to connect with your true, natural, authentic self.
I know change can be hard but regret is a much more severe consequence to not living the life you truly desire. You have so little time on this planet so don’t waste another moment living someone else’s dream.
It’s your life, so take it by the horns and let your true self take command.
Justin Mazza is the creator of the personal growth blog Mazzastick.
Please stop by and get yourself a free copy of his Overcoming Fear eBook.