Welcome to the 7th article in our 'spirituality' series that questions the very meaning of our reality, our spirituality, our mortaility and what it means to live consciously.
This article will talk about human relationships - why they exist and what is the point of being in a relationship? And we will also discuss why we are sexual beings.
Before we do that, let us figure out why we have individual personalities - and then we're off to the good stuff.
From one perspective we’re all separate individuals. From another perspective we can see ourselves as a unified whole.
Imagine a gigantic sheet of aluminum foil with billions of tiny indentations in it, like protruding fingers.
As individuals we’re the dents. Collectively we’re the foil. You can choose to adopt either perspective, or switch back and forth. You can experience oneness and you can also experience individuality.
Why do we have individual personalities?
Your individual personality is an experiential filter. Since your personality is unique, it helps you create and explore unique experiences.
Even when large numbers of people experience the same event at the same time, their unique personalities create a wide range of interpretations of the event. This adds breadth and richness to our collective exploration.
If you want to be a better explorer, strengthen your personality. Embrace and enhance your uniqueness.
A unique perspective adds more value to our explorations than a me-too perspective. These types of explorers often receive the choicest assignments as well.
What’s the point of human relationships?
Other people are our co-explorers.
**We’re all part of the same foil, helping reality explore itself. Part of this exploration includes our interactions with each other
All possibilities for human relationships are being explored.
This includes relating to each other with love and affection... or peace and harmony... or force and conflict... or rape and incest.
- We can agree with each other.
- We can butt heads.
- We can hug.
- We can fight.
- We can explore cooperation.
- We can explore domination and submission.
- We can explore power and powerlessness.
- We can approve or disapprove of any aspects of these interactions, and then we can explore and experience approval and disapproval too.
- We can explore being rewarded and being punished.
- We can judge each other, or we can forgive and accept each other.
- We can explore connection, and we can explore solitude.
- We can give. We can take.
All of this is valid. We’re exploring all of it.
If you have no particular preference for how you’d like to relate to other people, those choices will be made for you. Do nothing, and your social relationships will be assigned. That’s a perfectly valid option.
If you’d like to explore something other than your current assignments, you have a say. You can consciously choose what you’d like to explore, and you can learn to channel more energy in that direction to create it. You can influence your social experience - for example you may choose to care more for the people important to you.
I find this to be a particular rich area for exploration. I especially enjoy exploring with other people who see themselves as conscious explorers, ideally in person.
Why are we sexual beings?
Sexuality is one way to bring us together. When we feel an attraction towards each other, we connect, interact, and communicate more. This happens whether or not we actually do anything sexual.
Reality is exploring all possibilities, so some people are highly sexual and others are largely asexual. Whatever we can explore sexually, we’re doing it.
- We’re also exploring approval and condemnation across the entire spectrum of sexual activity. Can you name a form of sexual expression with no adherents and no detractors?
- We’re even exploring the experience of disapproving of people who disapprove.
What do you desire to explore here?
- Do you want to explore a singular sexual relationship with one partner?
- Would you like to explore a series of partners?
- Does an open exploration with multiple partners appeal to you?
- Would you like to explore some kinky possibilities?
- Do you want to explore experiences that you’d consider tame or commonplace?
- Or do you want to delve into experiences that you’d consider naughty or unusual?
- Do you prefer the path of abstinence, so you can channel more energy into non-sexual pursuits?
It’s all valid.
Another value in sexual exploration is that by connecting nakedly with other people, we can increase our sensitivity to subtle energies.
Many people who explore sexuality, especially with multiple partners, have the experience of finding themselves in seemingly desirable physical encounters, but the energy flow still feels off to them.
Something is missing. They often say things like, “The connection just wasn’t there.”
This leads people to slow down and focus on the energetic, spiritual, and emotional aspect of a connection. When the energy of a connection is flowing well, the all-around pleasure of the experience is greatly enhanced, even when you don’t connect with someone sexually.
You can be physically naked with someone while still wearing a full wardrobe of coverings over your thoughts, feelings, desires, and intentions.
If you want to have better sexual experiences, the key is to unclothe yourself all the way and to connect with partners who can do likewise. Be completely naked together - trust each other.
As you learn the value of being fully unclothed through sexual exploration, you’ll also see the value of lowering your resistance and surrendering yourself to the full experience of life.
Written by Steve Pavlina. Steve Pavlina is a human alarm clock - he wakes up people who are sleeping through life. Steve has a personal development blog for smart people, which you can follow here: stevepavlina.com/blog/